I’m sitting here in my room right now, my mind absolutely reeling. I can’t believe what I just saw. And I wish I could go back in time and see it all over again.
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We begin with all the dancers onstage, the men standing and the women in a painstakingly perfect grande plié. For a while, nothing happens. The anticipation is so thick that it’s almost like watching a horror movie; you never know what’s going to happen or when. Suddenly, with perfect timing, all the women lean onto their left knees. And thus begins a thrilling hour of flailing limbs, devastating falls, breathtaking recoveries, and chilling balances. Their timing is exquisite, each dancer moving at exactly the same time. I remembered an article I’d read a few months back about how they use verbal cues through earpieces to achieve this incredible effect. Knowing that kind of felt like being backstage at Disneyland. But at the same time I was relieved to know that the dancers of Batsheva are human beings who need cues and not superheroes blessed with the magical ability to dance perfectly in synch.
The only way to describe Ohad Naharin’s choreography is to call it mind-unraveling. I felt my brain cells melt and separate until I was completely hypnotized. The only thing better than Naharin’s choreography is the way his dancers perform it. They move deliberately with the utmost virtuosity and it’s absolutely incredible to watch. They have stunning technique, and are able to go from ridiculous, comical thrusting to perfect ballet lines in a split second. Their performance left me breathless.
There were a few parts of MAX in particular that stuck out to me. The first being the multiple times throughout the piece where they sat in a pyramid formation and exploded in a flurry of gestural movement. It manages to be both breathtakingly intricate and bluntly simple at the same time. Another part that I can’t get out of my head is when a series of crashing sounds explode through the speakers and the dancers slammed into different positions with heart-stopping precision. Their stops were so exact that it was as if someone pressed PAUSE. Then came a hypnotizing accumulation series, set to what sounded like counting in another language (I originally thought it was Hebrew, but discovered it wasn’t after further research). One. One, Two. One, Two, Three, and so on and so forth. Each number corresponded with a single crisp movement that built and built with each cycle. This repeated over and over and over again, until I almost felt like I could count in whatever language it was myself even though I have never studied it. It may sound maddening, but I honestly could have watched it all night. Then finally, just when you think the dancers have nothing else left, they get back into that pyramid formation and, at the top of their lungs, scream the lyrics of an earlier song. Blackout. I’m left sitting in my seat, completely dumbfounded by what I just saw.
Ever since I first heard of Ohad Naharin and Batsheva, I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what it is about his work that affects me so. After watching MAX, it hit me. I feel like Naharin’s work is the choreographic equivalent to saying what everyone else is too afraid to say. Others keep their mouths shut to avoid ruffling feathers, while Naharin flies in the face of such thinking. His choreography says what everyone is too afraid to say. And I love that. It’s not only thrilling to watch, it’s also refreshing. And I’ll never get sick of it.
Near the end of senior year of high school, I wrote this in my choreography journal for Ms. Oden’s 6th period Choreography/Dance History/Improvisation class. Believe it or not, I still manage to struggle with this once in a while. But what really matters is her perfect response.
I’m having the clichéd career crisis and it’s scaring me a little. Mainly it’s with dance–I’ve just felt so listless and not interested in it lately and it’s making me question whether or not I want to have some sort of dance career and whether or not I CAN. Do I want to dedicate my life to dance? The answer’s always been YES. But now I’m not so sure. What would my life be without dance? This dilemma reminds me of Landslide (“I’ve been afraid of changing / ‘cause I built my life around you.”). I’ve always interpreted that song as having an apprehension towards something you thought you had intense passion for–like dance, for me. I’m afraid of straying from the path that I’ve been following towards a dance career because I’ve built my whole life around that path, you know? Also, I’m nowhere near technically proficient enough to even think about it. In order to become more technically proficient, I have to go to class. But I’ve been feeling so crappy and lazy and lethargic this semester that I never want to go. Conundrum.
What makes me even remotely amazing is my “passion,” for lack of better words. It’s really the only thing that got me onto Senior Team at TDC last year. So without passion, what do I have? Nothing, really. My feelings towards a career in filmmaking have changed as well, in the same way. I was thinking about how I’m dissatisfied with my dances more often than not and how I really don’t like my choreography even though everyone seems to enjoy it. Is that how all choreographers feel? And is that how I’d feel if I were a choreographer or filmmaker? In a constant state of dissatisfaction?! I’d hate that. I consider myself to be a pessimistic-optimist, meaning I’m only optimistic when I don’t want to face the truth…would the pessimistic side just completely take over? I don’t want that. I don’t want to be dissatisfied with whatever art I create in my lifetime.
What exactly is the point of all this? Dancers are perhaps some of the most self-destructive people on Earth. We straighten up our spine at the barre as if it’s made of metal, using every muscle in our bodies to achieve the illusion of perfect grace. We “condition” our bodies: standing on relevé, demi pointe, coup de pied, passé; countless pliés, frappés, tendus, dégagés. We throw ourselves around, overwork our already overworked bodies, slather on Icy-Hot to relieve the pain, go crazy from the stress of unfinished dances close to show time, we hate each other at auditions; picking apart everyone’s flaws. Sprained ankles, snapped tendons, eroding turn-out muscles…And for what??! What is the point of dance, really? Or any other fine art in general for that matter? It’s not like they cure cancer or solve the mystery of life, so why do we do it? I still can’t figure this out.
Ms. Oden’s response: “Art, any art, somehow touches places we need to touch in ways nothing else can. Perhaps the point of it all is that it is another way of making sense of the world. So it doesn’t cure cancer, but it feeds the soul. Good work, Katy. Processing the whys of what we do is a continuous battle/war. Sometimes there are ceasefires, other times we’re ‘besieged’ from all sides. The internal battle is the worst. My new favorite quote: ‘Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art.’ It’s not really new, but…I think it works.”
Hello there! Long time, no blog. Sorry about that. I had to take a little hiatus for awhile to regroup and think about new things to write about and where I’d like to go with Writing in Motion. And now I’m back! And have lots of things cooked up, including a new segment which I’ll introduce later this week.
But for now, it’s Dance Video Sunday! Except that it’s 12:06 AM here in AZ, so technically it’s Dance Video Monday, I guess?
Every once in awhile, I have to curl up in bed and have an I’m-Way-Too-Passionate-About-This-For-My-Own-Good Movie Marathon, where I watch movies that never fail to remind me why I do what I do. The following movies always inspire me to keep going and lift me up whenever I’m feeling a little down. I’m hoping that they’ll do the same for you.
ShowBusiness: The Road to Broadway
Ohh, Good Gravy Marie. This movie. My good friend Kay and I saw this when it premiered at the Phoenix Film Festival a few years ago. The director was there, along with ALAN CUMMING who I have been a huge fan of since I was a kid. (Annnd we got to meet him. I was nearly catatonic afterward!) Needless to say, the movie made us cry like babies. We were both living in Tucson at the time, and on the drive back we couldn’t stop talking about the movie and why we keep fighting for our respective careers in the arts no matter how many times we get kicked around. It was a wonderful night, and a wonderful discussion that I’ll always remember. If you are pursuing a career in any aspect of the Arts (particularly theater and dance), you MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE! It’s incredibly well-done and offers a rare look behind the scenes of Broadway shows.
Every Little Step
This is another great movie that made Kay and I cry like babies when we saw it! Every Little Step takes a look behind the scenes of the audition process for the Broadway revival of A Chorus Line; a process which, to my knowledge, has never been documented this way before. It also goes into the background and history of this classic musical and it’s creator, Michael Bennett. It’s a truly fascinating film to watch, and will make you all warm and fuzzy!
Breath Made Visible
Anna Halprin is a dance icon, and a total badass broad. This brilliant, revealing documentary will explain why. She is pushing 90, and still dancing, teaching, kicking ass and taking names. I was lucky enough to take a workshop with this amazing woman last winter, and it was an unforgettable experience. If you ever have the opportunity to learn from Anna Halprin, jump at that chance! And watch this movie while you’re at it! I admire her so much because, as you’ll see, she has always done exactly what she wanted to do artistically regardless of what people thought (she recalls in the movie how audiences in Italy threw shoes at her and her dancers during a performance). And she has this natural ability for pushing boundaries. Anna Halprin is truly an inspiration to me, and every time I watch Breath Made Visible, I always feel rejuvenated and inspired to just do my thing.
The Company
I always get angry when The Company is overlooked as a quintessential dance movie. It may not have the silly drama and flash of a movie like Center Stage, but it is an intimate portrait of a ballet company and what it’s like to be a dancer. Director Robert Altman shot it beautifully; it’s as if the camera is a fly on the wall, watching the every day goings-on of the Joffrey Ballet. Neve Campbell is lovely, as are the other dancers of course, and Malcolm McDowell does a great job as the artistic director. The Company is an amazing, underrated film that dancers and audience members alike can enjoy.
Black Swan
This ain’t your grandma’s dance movie! It’s a gritty look at passion gone crazy, and a brilliant portrayal of chasing perfection through self-destruction. It blew my mind to pieces the first time I saw it (and I went on to see it again many times). But the best thing about Black Swan, in my opinion, is the incredible cinematography. Darren Aronofsky never disappoints on that front, and always finds new ways of shooting his subjects. In this case, him and his team really captured what it feels like to dance and be in motion. It took my breath away. It’s not a movie for everyone, that’s for sure. But if you’re in the mood for something a little different and darker, definitely check this out if you haven’t already.
Morning Glory
This may not be a dance movie, but it definitely still fits in the Way-Too-Passionate movie category. I relate so much to Rachel McAdams’ character–it freaked me out when I first saw it! This is another great example of someone who does things their own way regardless of what’s expected, in the vein of badasses like Anna Halprin. McAdams’ character, Becky Fuller, is a little awkward, meek and emotional. But she doesn’t completely change herself to do her job, she’s just…herself. And she manages to kick ass and keep everyone in line while staying true to who she is. That really strikes a chord with me. And furthermore, it’s a fun, feel-good movie that will make you smile! And maybe even inspire you like it inspired me. (Also…JEFF GOLDBLUM. You can’t go wrong with that guy!)
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There's Kay and I with Alan Cumming, and me with Anna Halprin! Eeeee!
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Happy Watching, friends! Now go do your thing.
But if you start hallucinating that you’re pulling black feathers out of your shoulder, you should probably seek help.
I saw Bill T. Jones/Arnie Zane Dance Company perform Fondly Do We Hope…Fervently Do We Pray last night at ASU Gammage. WOW WOW WOW. I really can’t love this man any more than I already do!
And by the way…he is going to be in residency with ASU Gammage for the next three years. BAM! Too much amazing! He has done a lot of activities with the School of Dance over the past week. I was able to make it to his lecture on Thursday. It was overwhelming (and INCREDIBLE) to see one of my idols talk for an hour while I sat fifteen feet away from him.
I’m still processing all the fantastic Bill T. Jones-ness from this week, so I can’t give you a full write-up just yet. But nuzzle on up to your computers and enjoy an excerpt from this beautiful piece, and as a bonus, take a gander at this hypnotizing solo as well.
I was watching Black Swan a few nights ago, I think it was the fourth or fifth time I had seen it. There are about a million different things in Black Swan that I plan on writing about in the future–you could probably churn out an entire dissertation on this movie–but the topic of this post is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile.
One of the running lines throughout Black Swan is “LOSE YOURSELF.” Something about that line in particular has stuck with me since the first time I heard it, and I couldn’t figure out why until now. It didn’t stick with me because I related to it. I actually think the opposite is true. When I dance to the point where I’m really in it, I don’t feel like I “lose myself.” Rather, I feel like I lose everything else around me. And in doing so, I become more and more myself. I think that’s really what the emotional connection to dancing is about; losing everything else, working to let it all fall away, and becoming the fullest expression of yourself.
This is why sometimes I feel like the people who know me better than anyone else are my dance teachers, particularly Todd Wilson and the other lovely people at Breakout Studios/A Tucson Dance Company who I’ve danced with for years. Through countless hours of classes and a thousand different pieces of choreography, they’ve definitely seen ME. There’s a sense of freedom and loss of inhibition in taking class, because it’s the place where you’re allowed to screw up and learn and grow. I’m allowed to just be myself. Sometimes I wish my friends and family could watch me take class, because I think I’m more myself there than anywhere else.
I decided to start Dance Video Sunday as a fun way to end the week. Also, I have an obscenely large collection of dance videos on my YouTube channel, and am always excited to share them. Because I’m a giant nerd, remember?
BABY KATY’S FAVORITE DANCE NUMBERS
Baby Katy!
I grew up on so many great movies. I was (and still am) a diehard Disney fan, as you’ll discover from the videos in this post. But I also loved non-Disney movie musicals, too. I couldn’t be more grateful for the wonderful musical numbers that were peppered throughout these movies, because watching them over and over as a child really shaped me into the choreographer that I am today. I’ve always loved watching and choreographing huge dance numbers with a million things going on at once, which as you will see, is a running pattern throughout all these great scenes. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Portobello Road, from Bedknobs & Broomsticks
Choreography: Donald McKayle
“Portobello Road” not only shaped my love of a-million-things-at-once dance numbers, but it definitely shaped my lifelong passion for world cultures as well. Donald McKayle really created a vibrant smorgasbord of different cultural dance styles that always left me rapt.
I recently spotted McKayle in the audience when I saw Cleo Parker Robinson Dance Company in Scottsdale; he had choreographed one of the pieces in the program. Very cool!
Step in Time, from Mary Poppins
Choreography: Dee Dee Wood
I could only dream about being as badass as Mary Poppins, Bert, and the slew of chimney sweeps! By the way, Dee Dee Wood currently lives and works in the Phoenix area. I got to meet her briefly thanks to my fabulous friend Kathryn…It. Was. Awesome. Why did I not get a picture with her?! Stupid, stupid…
Me Ole Bamboo, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Choreography: Dee Dee Wood
Yeah, Dee Dee Wood basically choreographed my childhood. I totally used to attempt these moves as a kid using a pool cue…I could never attempt the flips, though, because the cues were too tall. That’s probably a good thing, as I most likely would’ve severely injured myself!
America, from West Side Story
Choreography: Jerome Robbins
Ohhh, this scene. I saw West Side Story when I was nine, and this dance number in particular just blew my mind. I ended up doing a figure skating routine to it very soon after! (Have I mentioned that I used to be a figure skater? I was, for six lovely years. I miss it!) Also, I really want Rita Moreno’s pretty purple dress. They just don’t make pretty dresses like that anymore.
I Swear I Saw A Dragon, from Pete’s Dragon
Choreography: Onna White
This scene was a huge influence on me. I love when Helen Reddy dances on the bar and kicks everyone’s drinks out of their hands while expertly swooshing her skirt and showing off her adorable bloomers. I used to imitate this constantly as a kid, dancing on our pool table and pretending it was a bar. I’ve had an odd obsession with these kinds of bar-dancing drink-kicking skirt-swooshing bloomer-wearing dance numbers ever since!
On an unrelated note, Candle on the Water totally makes me cry every time. Damn you, Reddy.
Avenue A, from Mrs. Santa Claus
Choreography: Rob Marshall (Yes, THAT Rob Marshall.)
Mrs. Santa Claus is one of my all-time favorite movies. It’s relatively obscure since it was a made-for-TV movie, but it was released on VHS and my Mama and I used to watch it all the time when I was little. This is my favorite scene, and I used to rewind it and watch it over and over again. Note the bar-dancing skirt-swooshing bloomer-wearing section! They don’t kick drinks, but that’s okay. Still badass.
Cuban Pete, from The Mask
Choreography: Jerry Evans
I was obsessed with this soundtrack growing up. In fact, the first time my choreography was performed in public, it was to this version of Cuban Pete! In 2nd grade, I made up a dance and taught it to three of my friends. After diligently rehearsing during recess and after school, we performed it at our school’s talent show. It was pretty awesome, if I do say so myself! I also did a figure skating routine to it a few years later. It included maracas and plenty of sass.
The Prom Scene from She’s All That
Choreography: Adam Shankman
To put it bluntly, She’s All That was the shiiiiit back in 6th grade! It was a staple at all slumber parties, along with copious amounts of junk food and using those green face mask things. And you know what? I’m a little disappointed that my senior prom didn’t turn out like this.
Just kidding. I actually had a lot of fun at my prom. Although a spontaneous choreographed dance number would have been pretty fantastic.
I have been madly in love with Adam Shankman’s work lonnnng before So You Think You Can Dance snatched him up and thrust him into mainstream pop culture (and I still can’t stand that show, even if he’s on there). He directed The Wedding Planner, one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies, and I was a fan ever since. Come to think of it, The Wedding Planner actually has a really neat dance scene in it, but I’ll save that for another day. Despite the fact that he is one of my favorite choreographers, I didn’t know he choreographed this until I looked it up a few minutes ago. Definitely doesn’t surprise me, though! Lovelovelove that guy. And this fabulous–and totally ridiculous–number. To this day, I can’t listen to “The Rockafeller Skank” without doing bits of this choreography!
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s OSCAR NIGHT! I have a couch with my name on it. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, lovely people.
THE LIFE, VISION, AND CREATIVE PROCESS OF LADY GAGA
Note: While this might not be a strictly dance-centric topic, Lady Gaga has actually become a huge influence on me as a choreographer. All photos in the inspiration board below came from F*ckYeahLadyGaga. No copyright infringement is intended.
I wasn’t always a fan of Lady Gaga. There were a myriad of reasons why, some were silly and some were legitimate: I’d had a bad audition experience where the combination was to her first single “Just Dance,” I thought her singles were shallow, and her music was overplayed on the radio and would always coincidentally come on whenever I was having a horrible day…Which, of course, clearly meant that it was all Lady Gaga’s fault! At least I liked to think so. I just didn’t understand her or why everyone around me seemed to be falling in love with her. Seeing her performance on the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards completely changed my opinion. From then on, I slowly began to appreciate her work, her process, her eccentricities and her pop culture genius, and she is now a profound influence on me as an artist. I’m fascinated by her creative and collaborative processes, her approach to fame and use of celebrity as performance art, and her background experiences that made her the performer and songwriter she is today.
Up until the aforementioned Video Music Awards, I had never seen her perform; I had only heard her on the radio. She began the performance with a line from her ubiquitous single “Poker Face,” a song I’d previously detested. Only she sang it with a soaring, flawless, idiosyncratically operatic voice. I was shocked, as I had no idea she had that kind of magnificent vocal range. She proceeded to give a deliciously macabre performance in every sense of the word. It consisted of bizarre, contorted choreography, dancers draped in pearls and lingerie by way of mental hospital chic, wheelchairs, old-fashioned crutches, broken chandeliers, and fake blood. All these elements were packed onto a massive set that looked like a post-apocalyptic Roccoco painting, a freakish love-child of Fragonard and Fellini. Even the lyrics to “Paparazzi,” which I was hearing for the first time, were deliciously macabre as well. The performance ended with her hanging from the ceiling, dropping her microphone, covered in fake blood that started pouring from her abdomen during a fierce piano solo.
Gaga at the VMAs. She even freaks out P. Diddy.
From then on, I was hooked.
Something about that particular VMA performance just appealed to my love of dark humor, surreal images, and even my obsession with chandeliers. Even though I hated to admit it after loudly and proudly detesting her music for so long, I had become a reluctant fan.
Lady Gaga was born Stefani Germonatta on March 28, 1986 in New York City. A lifelong entertainer, she admits in biographies and interviews to being a “precocious child” and a “ham,” dancing around with breadsticks in fancy restaurants as a kid, or greeting a new babysitter “in her birthday suit.” She started learning to play the piano by ear when she was four years old. Fortunate enough to have parents who supported and encouraged her talent, her father got her a 4-track TASCAM recorder at age 11 which she used to record herself playing. By age 13, she wrote her first song. By age 14, she was performing at open-mic nights around New York City. A major influence on her outlandish celebrity persona comes from her high school experience at Covenant of the Sacred Heart School. In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, she describes how much of an outcast she was, and was constantly teased for how she dressed and acted, saying, “The whole point of what I do—the Monster Ball, the music, the performance art aspect of it—I want to create a space for my fans where they can feel free, and they can celebrate. Because I didn’t fit in in high school, and I felt like a freak. So I like to create this atmosphere for my fans where they feel like they have a freak in me to hang out with, and they don’t feel alone.” She remains very loyal to her fans, and has dubbed them her Little Monsters. Despite her difficult social experiences, Lady Gaga was a disciplined student and sought refuge in her talent, constantly practicing and engaging in theater. At age 17, she was accepted early into the music program at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts; one of only twenty people to be given this prestigious opportunity. Her studies there refined her songwriting style and gave her a solid classical training foundation. She eventually withdrew, however, to pursue her music career.
This is a video of her performance at an annual NYU talent show called Ultraviolet Live in which she performs two original songs; both tongue-in-cheek love songs with a soulful jazz foundation and just the right amount of camp. Seeing this video was another reason I eventually became a fan.
She began building a following in the Lower East Side club scene, playing with various bands. At the time, she had aspirations of becoming the next Fiona Apple. But when she began working with producer Rob Fusari, the two of them explored a whole new sound incorporating dance beats and heavy influences from David Bowie and Queen. In fact, it was through this collaboration that her stage name “Lady Gaga” was created; a play on the Queen song “Radio Ga Ga.” From then on, Stefani Germonatta was known as Lady Gaga, and asked Fusari to never refer to her as Stefani again. By the time she turned 20, she was signed by Interscope Records. She worked as a songwriter, penning songs for acts such as the Pussycat Dolls, Britney Spears, and Fergie. Her debut album The Fame was released in 2008 and the first singles “Just Dance” and “Poker Face” rocketed her to international celebrity at 23 years old. She released her second album The Fame Monster in 2009. She has won numerous awards including two Grammy Awards and three MTV Video Music Awards, and her video for “Bad Romance” from The Fame Monster has reached over 140,000,000 views on YouTube.
Lady Gaga collaborates with a creative team whom she refers to as the “Haus of Gaga,” a collective similar to Andy Warhol’s Factory. It consists of a stylist, makeup artist, hairdresser, set designer, and choreographer as well as technology engineers, dancers, directors, assistants, and other creative thinkers. Haus of Gaga creates each of her specific outfits and looks, performance art props such as LCD glasses or the Disco Stick she sings about in her song “LoveGame,” and also works on set designs and concepts for her tours and videos. She describes Haus of Gaga’s creative process as organic, saying, “I called all my coolest art friends and we sat in a room and I said that I wanted to make my face light up. Or that I wanted to make my cane light up. Or that I wanted to make a pair of dope sunglasses. Or that I want to make video glasses, or whatever it was that I wanted to do. It’s a whole amazing creative process that’s completely separate from the label.”
Dance rehearsal footage for the Alejandro video, choreographed by Laurieann Gibson.
As I previously mentioned, I found her first singles to be shallow and lacking in any kind of creativity or substance and therefore wrote Lady Gaga off as just another mindless pop singer without realizing her underlying creative motives. A friend of mine was a fan from the start, and told me that she thought Lady Gaga was at the center of a social experiment in fame; that she was deliberately releasing these one-dimensional songs (even though she is genuinely talented and capable of much more) just to see how famous she can get. Once I looked at her from that perspective, I began to understand where she was coming from a little more. And since she has hit an omnipresent level of acclaim, she has begun to create music and videos with much more meat to them. Songs like “Paparazzi” from The Fame and “Speechless” from her 2009 follow-up album The Fame Monster show her versatility in her ability to create catchy dance songs (the former) and devastatingly beautiful soul ballads (the latter). Even her music videos show a significant evolution. Her earlier videos basically consist of her gyrating on couches with crowds of people, while her videos for more recent singles such as and “Bad Romance,” “Telephone,” and “Alejandro” are more akin to surrealist short films and show much more creativity and artistic vision while appealing to her social experiments with fame, mainstream media and pop culture.
Lady Gaga sums up her entire creative philosophy with one statement: “I’m trying to give people things that they don’t need, but will eventually become the reality of the future. I like to tell lies that become true.” She is truly a one-of-a-kind artist who manages to be genuinely talented and fame-savvy at the same time, utilizing the public as a tool for her creative vision and identity. I look forward to seeing what else this eccentrically brilliant performer has to offer. As for her outlook on the future, she says, “And, now, I’m just trying to change the world one sequin at a time.”
